Why Does Home Feel Strange After Years Away?

Identity shifts, grief, and renewal in repatriation journeys.

The Paradox of Coming Home

Most people expect coming home to feel natural. Yet many returning diaspora discover something unexpected: home doesn’t feel like home anymore.

This paradox can bring confusion and even guilt. You longed for familiar places, people, and rhythms — but once you arrive, you may feel out of sync, like a guest in your own country.

Why Home Feels Different

1. You Have Changed

Living abroad reshapes identity. New habits, languages, and perspectives become part of you. When you return, the “old you” no longer exists, making the old environment feel misaligned.

2. The Place Has Changed

Communities evolve. Shops close, people move on, culture shifts. You’re not just meeting your old home — you’re meeting a new version of it.

3. Relationships Shift

Friends and family may have continued life without you. Dynamics change, and sometimes you feel both welcomed and left out.

4. Unspoken Grief

You may grieve the loss of the life you built abroad. Even if you’re happy to be back, part of you mourns what was left behind.

Navigating the Strange Feeling

Embrace the “In-Between” Identity

Instead of forcing yourself to fit in, accept that you are a bridge between worlds. This identity is rich and valuable — it allows you to carry multiple perspectives.

Allow Space for Grief and Renewal

Acknowledge that it’s normal to miss your life abroad. Grieving what’s lost creates space for renewal and new connections at home.

Seek Out Fellow Returnees

Connecting with others who have been through repatriation reduces isolation. Shared stories help normalise the experience.

Create New Traditions

Rather than recreating your old routines, establish fresh traditions that reflect both your past abroad and your present at home.

Focus on Contribution

Contribution is grounding. Sharing your skills, insights, and global experiences helps weave you into the fabric of your community again.

Conclusion: Home as a Living Concept

Home is not a fixed place. It’s a living concept that evolves as we do. For returning diaspora, the strange feeling of being “out of place” is not a failure — it’s an invitation to redefine home in a way that honours both past and present.

Fulfilment comes when you allow home to be fluid, carrying forward what matters most while embracing the newness of where you are.

Do you feel like a stranger in your own home after years away? My Fulfilment Coaching Pathway for Returning Diaspora supports you in integrating your international experience, rebuilding belonging, and creating a home that feels true.