What Are We Holding On To So Tightly?
Exploring the hidden patterns beneath tension and release.
The Signs of Holding On
Sometimes the evidence of holding on is written in the body itself: a clenched jaw, furrowed brow, tight shoulders, or restless energy. At other times, it shows up in patterns of seriousness, vigilance, or even escapism and frivolity.
Holding on can wear many masks. The deeper question is not how it appears, but what it reveals.
What Are We Clinging To?
When we hold tightly, it is often to:
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Certainty: Needing life to be predictable, fearing the unknown.
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Identity: Protecting who we think we are, even when that self feels heavy.
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Control: Believing that if we just grip harder, outcomes will bend to our will.
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Stories of the Past: Carrying wounds, roles, or unfinished narratives.
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Hopes for the Future: Clinging to visions so tightly that the present moment slips by.
The act of holding on is rarely about the present. It is usually about what we fear losing, or what we cannot yet release.
Why Do We Do It?
Holding on is, at its heart, a form of protection. It is the body’s and mind’s way of saying: stay safe, don’t let go, don’t fall.
But what begins as protection can become a prison. The tighter the grip, the less space there is for ease, flow, or trust.
The Paradox of Letting Go
Letting go does not mean giving up. It does not mean carelessness or withdrawal. It means recognising that freedom often arises not from gripping harder, but from softening.
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Releasing control to allow creativity.
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Loosening identity to allow growth.
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Relaxing vigilance to allow peace.
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Letting go of past stories to allow new chapters.
Sometimes the path forward is less about holding on, and more about opening the hand.
Conclusion: From Tension to Fulfilment
If life feels clenched and heavy, perhaps the question is not how to hold on better, but what needs to be released.
True fulfilment may come not from gripping, but from recognising that some things carry themselves, even when we let go.
Do you feel like you’re holding on too tightly — to control, to identity, to stories of the past? My Fulfilment Coaching Pathway helps you explore what is worth carrying, and what can be released, so that life feels lighter and more free.